Dammit, I did a bad thing and I feel bad. Damn conscience.
I've learned that I can't NOT retaliate when I get hurt. It's just not going to happen. As Kerin pointed out, this need for retribution only digs me deeper and deeper into a hole of anger and bitterness with the other person but I can't help it. I'll go crazy and if it's between me and someone who is being a jerk, I'm sure as hell not going to choose me to get sent to the loony bin.
I'm referring to the "hickies down my back" incident by the way.
What the fuck does he care though? Apparently I'm so god damn destestable so why the fuck does he even care about what the hell I say or do? I wouldn't if I were him. The message I got was he hates me, he screwed up the prom thing and made me cry ... I believe I deserved one fucking comment. Contrary to popular belief, two wrongs usually DO make a right ... if I wrong someone, I'll take a small beating in return and deal with it. Plus the whole thing was so fucking STUPID I can barely stand it even now ... I still don't fucking know what went wrong.
Okay, so I'm BASICALLY over it but expect entries like this every once in a while. Note to self: Guys apparently don't want you hand yourself to them on a silver platter. Ugh. They bitch about manipulation and mind games but when you make things easier than instant pudding, they fuck everything up anyway!
In retrospect, I feel as if he dumped a truckload of large rocks on me from the top of a skyscraper so I threw a pebble his way just out of frustration to do something back and show him that I wasn't completely squished under his dumb rocks ... and now I feel bad for that. Maybe I just have better aim.
12:24 p.m. - May 04, 2002
Recent entries:
blah - April 24, 2006
the more things change, the more they stay the same - December 28, 2005
asses - April 15, 2005
bleh - February 18, 2005
k - October 10, 2004
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